While forgetting the anguish that another person has put you though may take quite some time, forgiving can happen much sooner. You owe it to yourself to forgive, to move on. It helps you improve your well-being and grow as a person. Read on to learn more about forgiveness, how to achieve it and how it can improve your life.
Definition of Forgiveness:
- The voluntary process of finding the ability within yourself to let go of negative emotions such as hate, vengefulness or resentment towards someone who has hurt you.
- The definition seems obvious, but truly understanding forgiveness (not forgetting but forgiving) can help you master this ability and make it nearly impossible for anyone to leave a lasting, negative, impact on you again.
Know What Your Intentions Are for Those Who Hurt You
- Many people spend years of their life hung up on how others have hurt them. They spend more time being upset than working towards moving on.
- Try and disassociate yourself from the emotional pain. As hard as it may be, try to look at the situation as a positive. View it as a learning experience. This certainly falls under the “That which doesn’t kill me makes me stronger” category.
- What do you truly wish for the other person? Try to look at it from an outsider’s perspective. As if this happened to someone you know (instead of you).
- This is a hard step, but it does speed up the forgiveness process.
- Use the affirmation: “I accept this situation and know I can learn and grow from it.”
Be Grateful for the Lesson
- Remember that though any hardship there is a lesson. Try to keep your focus on the lesson instead of just the pain.
- Perhaps you learn how to better read other people or “see the signs”. Or it could be that this situation will only serve to make you a stronger person.
- Practice actually deciding what you are going to think about instead of just letting your thoughts run wild. This will help you in many aspects of life. It’s something I’ve really been focusing on lately. Before I did, I never noticed what little effort I gave to governing my thoughts.
- Practicing this will help you keep your vibrations high and help prevent you from falling into the dreaded “downward spiral”.
Look at Him/Her as a Teacher
- Remember that teacher you hated when you were a kid because they were so hard on you. And as it turned out, as you get older, you find that you learned the most from them?
- There is something to be learned from everyone and everything in your life. Look at all of these as “lessons” instead of negative circumstances.
- When you can shift your perspective from being the student instead of the victim, it only makes you stronger.
Find the Off Switch for Jealousy and Resentment
- Imagine that you have the ability to shut off your negative emotions as easy as you can hit the “off” switch on a light.
- When those negative thoughts pop up, visualize your switch in the off position. Then imagine flicking that switch to on (positive mindset). Envisioning it being this easy will help improve your ability to make it a reality.
Wrapping things up…
There is no quick road to forgiveness. It will take some work. But when you are ready to forgive and move on, practice gratitude and acceptance to help get you on the right path. Remember to look at your circumstances as lessons and not punishments. Allow yourself to forgive, because YOU deserve it.
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